What is Abstinence or Purity?

Abstinence: refraining from all sexual activity including oral sex.

Purity: saving yourself mentally, motionally, and physically until marriage by remaining faithful to your spouse.

Recommit to Purity: Choosing from this moment on to remain sexually pure until marriage.




Believe it or not, I married “Mr. Right.” Actually his last name is Wright, but he’s truly “Mr. Right” in every conceivable way. This may sound cliché, but after waiting for 30-some years, I have to say he was definitely worth the wait! I waited a long time—I mean, I really waited. And I was amazed at the number of men that far outnumbered the women as some of my biggest cheerleaders in encouraging me to “wait for Mr. Right.” Of course most of them thought they were Mr. Right. Through it all, I was actually a virgin when I got married. Sadly these days you have to define what “type” of virgin you are and thus I can proudly say that I was a virgin in the purest sense of the word (pun intended). However, I don’t at all mean the, “I am better than you” definition of proud that most people would expect. I’m referring to the “last woman standing” on the final episode of “Survivor” type of proud. You know, the same feeling you had when you got straight A’s, bought your first car, or lost 25 pounds.

It is often said and often true, “don’t mistake innocence for lack of opportunity.” This was not true in my case. I’ve been pursued by a “Who’s Who” of professional athletes, entertainers, and eligible bachelors of different races. I know the greatest determinants of my remaining a virgin until “I do” were my priorities, personal conviction, and plain common sense.

As a single lady, I was president and CEO of my own company. If you wanted to apply for the position of janitor, you had to fill out an application with your full name and previous employers and get a criminal background check. I required this all before you even got a personal interview! And this was just to clean my toilet. Why would I expect anything less from someone with whom I’m going to take off all my clothes and have sex with? At least I knew the real name and address of the janitor who “serviced” me last week, which is more than the cast of “Sex in the City” required of their liaisons.

I never felt that I had to have a man in my life to be happy and fulfilled. I found my greatest fulfillment in serving, whether it was by helping orphans in Africa, building water projects, or being an advocate for youth.

Therefore, I never felt “thirsty” in my search for “Mr. Right” or settled for a series of “Mr. Right Nows.”Was I ever lonely? Rarely, but I knew I was never alone. Didn’t I desire male companionship? Of course, and I had countless male friends, always knowing that the friendship that caught on fire would be “the one,” and it was. I’ve been happily married several years now to “Mr. Wright,” and I always remind him that this now makes me “Mrs. Always Wright.”

Lakita Wright is a speaker, social commentator, and author of The Naked Truth: About Sex, Love, and Relationships. She is a consultant to Hollywood, the U.S. government, and several other nations on HIV/AIDS, teen pregnancy, and the impact of media on youth culture. She is currently involved in television production and resides near Chicago, Illinois.to contact her, email lakitagw@facebook.com or visit www.thenakedtruthaboutsex.com.
Reprinted with permission from Human Life Alliance www.humanlife.org.