She is Pregnant

She is pregnant........and you are shocked.

  • Hearing the initial news, try not to overreact. Your response will have a significant impact on your daughter. Okay - you did overreact. There is still time to show her how important she is to you!
  • Remember that it is normal to feel shocked, hurt and disappointed, but do remember that she is facing an overwhelming situation also.
  • Try to remain calm. You are all facing challenges you did not think would be in your future. Live moment to moment. Good can come from this situation.
    Your daughter needs to hear you say:

    "I will always love you. No matter the circumstances."

    "We're here for you. We'll help you however we can."

    "This was not what we had planned, but it will be okay."

    "We will go through this together."
  • parents
    Don't say : "Whatever you choose, we'll support you." This could make your daughter feel that she is alone. Share with her your wisdom and life experiences to aid in her decision making process.
  • Reaffirm your unconditional love and concern.
  • Let her know you have confidence in her.
  • Avoid placing blame or having a condemning attitude.
  • Help her make a pros & cons list of her options.
  • Trust God.

You can be her advocate. 

  • Create a non threatening atmosphere.
  • Listen as she talks.
  • Encourage her to make rational, thoughtful decisions.
  • Respect her feelings about the baby's father.
  • Understand her need for time and privacy.

(You daughter will appreciate your support when you offer to tell close family members about her pregnancy. Listen to them; they may offer suggestions you did not think of, and additional love, support and resources. Siblings may offer her unique sympathy just because they're closer in age.)

Many parents have said that while the timing of their daughter's pregnancy was not what they had wished, they did find great comfort in knowing that they helped her plan a safe and secure future for her child--their grandchild.

Remember that God is big enough to handle your fears, doubts, and questions. Pain can be a catalyst for personal growth in all of you.

You can get through this with God's grace! 

Adapted from a Focus on the Family booklet written by Holly M. Duncan, M.Ed., PLC. To receive the booklet - "she's pregnant. now what?" - in its entirety, please come visit us, Elgin Pregnancy Care Center, at ________________**